Monday, January 17, 2005
[marathon ]
i really want to go away now. my applications are kinda in trouble because some of the deadlines are earlier than the expected April 1. maybe i have to apply somewhere else. maps said virginia is kinda boring. i dont know where to go now.. boston?
but i need to get away from all this. maybe its just a short term solution to the current situation, maybe the situation itself is short term, but maybe im just trying to make myself better. i want to start on a clean slate, give myself a chance and give everyone else a chance. right now, i just feel so self-concious, as though everyone is judging me, and perhaps in a sense, i m judging them too for feeling that way towards them. i want to explore new places and try out new things. this place is getting boring. im feeling claustrophobic. maybe just cos it just reminds me of so many things that make me feel lousy. im not sure what exactly actually. all i know is that i want to go, explore the museums, sit in the park with a sandwich for lunch, attend concerts, scavenge the huge malls, take road trips, meet brand new people.
there will be people and things that i will miss here, of course. but right now, they dont seem as big as all the people and things that i want to get away from.
she jumped off the swing @ 8:13 PM
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