Tuesday, August 16, 2005
[procrastination is evil]
why? im leaving on saturday, and i just went to make my visa on monday. why? cos i put off calling the school up to chase them for my i20, and then i put off filling up the forms and paying the fees.
why? im leaving on saturday, and i only started packing today. well at least ive almost packed in all my clothes. but perhaps its the miscellaneous stuff that takes longer to pack.
why? i was supposed to have dinner with the sc dancers at ember today. i was supposed to make the reservation on sunday. but i only called them up today, and they are fully booked! quite disappointed, i've heard how wonderful it is, although when i asked the hotel1929 lady who answered the phone whether they were that gd, she said 'no, its just that our restaurant is really small'. smart.
why? i have about three days left, and too many people to meet up with. there just arent enough meals, and calorie allowance, to meet them all.
why? because it made me waste my precious summer holidays. ok, maybe its more like the other way. oh well.
im leaving real soon, and im starting to feel it. off to a whole new foreign strange land, away from everything im so familiar with. and im starting to miss everyone here. my lovely latinas and latinos had me a surprise farewell at V Tea Room yesterday, and it was so nice. and i received flowers too! made me so happy =) im going to miss dancing with them. somehow all the dance groups ive been in have had a really great passion for food. we defy all logic and common sense.
im feeling a huge sense of waste, not sure if that's actually english. but i feel like ive wasted alot of time, alot of money, alot of electricity, alot of opportunities, alot of friendships and relationships, and instead of wanting to do something about it, i just want to wallow in regret. what's wrong with me?
i hope virginia will be a new start for me, and i hope i get back that passion and drive i once used to have.
she jumped off the swing @ 2:43 AM
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